So, I'm starting to come to the reality of it all. I'm starting to realise that I'm a Lesbian. I have always thought that I was bisexual and have gone out with boys because I thought it was 'the right thing to do' which isn't true. There should be more Lesbian/bisexual/transgender programs out there to teach children from a young age that it isn't wrong to be gay and that you should be who you are born to be.

Just realising from my past relationships that when I was going out with a boy I never liked the physical aspect of it. I only kissed them when the wanted to, I never made the first move or actually wanted to kiss them, and when I did I thought it was boring or nothing too it. But i just put that down to not having met the right one yet.

I haven't ever seen a boy, any boy, friend or a random man in the street, who I found really attractive and I've thought. wow, I really want to kiss that man. But with girls I get it alot, but, i thought it was wrong and ignored it.

When I was younger 12-15 I used to sneak up into my dads room and look at the porn magazines of girls and I didn't know why I did it. I was just a thing.

I notice girls much more than I do boys. In the street I see so many beautiful girls and then there are boys who I'm like yeah there good looking but that's it. Also if I'm watching a film I'll otice the girl/woman more than the boys and many of my favourite famous people are woman. I have many posters of them in my bedroom.

I don't really know what to do. It's all about the family. I don't care what my friends or people at my college will think but I don't want to disappoint my family. i don't know what they will say, or if they will even believe me. And i don't know how I would even tell them.

So, Yes, This post is me trying to pan out the reality that I am gay.